‘But there’s one thing I know

Though I’m younger than you

That even Jesus would never

Forgive what you do…

I think you will find

When your death takes its toll

All the money you made

Will never buy back your soul’ – Bob Dylan, Masters of War

As with my previous posting, there is something rather insidious about posting from paradise as we collectively stand on what Barry McGuire called the eve of destruction. Ironically, it is as the masters of war stand on the precipice of sending us all to paradise, that I have found it on Earth. Whilst Trump, Netenyahu, Huckabee, and Hegseth mount their horses and draw us into the apocalypse, I have fallen in love with the place and people of Sri Lanka where, if we aren’t all dead, I should like to return for more time before I try and make my way back to our small islands off the Atlantic.

Assuming any of this still exists come 23:44 GMT tonight. If not, cheers for the laughs, it’s been fun. And I do hope that this isn’t the last things you read in this existence. Soz if so.

Of course, as the exodus of influencers from Doha and elsewhere has shown (fucking lol by the way) that us Westerners are not completely immune from the impacts of what is going on and I have no idea what options will be open to me for travelling on or back in the coming weeks and months. I am immensely privileged to be largely shielded from the impacts of the ongoing war, with the slow trickle of price increases and passing by long queues at the pump the only impact I have felt thus far. The same is most certainly not true for the people who live here- the Sri Lankan government raised fuel prices by a quarter on Sunday, the second such increase in only a week. The President ordered a four-day working week and the aim is to drive down fuel consumption by a 15-20% reduction.

Anyway, and moving away from the Chicken Little routine, I am writing this latest dispatch not from Sri Lanka but from Cochin, India, a land of a mind blowing 1.1 billion people.   As has oft been the case, I had intended to write sooner and throughout my time in Sri Lanka but given how wonderful time I’ve been having, I have not found time to gloat. That and the inappropriateness given the aforementioned death and destruction.

Ella of a good time

We were joined on the next two legs of the adventure by Grassy- if you would like to join me on my adventures applications remain open by writing me directly and by checking flight availability with your nearest airline operator. Staying in the mountains away from the main town of Ella, we were in our own oasis of picturesque calm admittedly with terror inducing tuk tuk rides up and down, to and from town. The climb was so steep, and my travel gut so protruding, that the initial steep climb out of the homestay required me to walk behind said tuk tuk before hitting the road.

In an effort to shift even part of said gut, we went on a hike along the railway tracks, crossing paths with a whole family of monkeys who we patiently watched past- their scouts checking ahead, the males shepherding the females and the young across our path, and then the earlier scouts bringing up the rear (call me anytime Mr. Attenborough).  The railway track cut through the mountainside and through it and we walked beyond the usual tourist spots to get some truly outstanding views. After the hike, I dragged us along to the only bar in town that didn’t seem to be catering to the tourists where the beer was cheap, cold, and we had a direct view of the musician at the touristy bar across the road. You can take the man out of Dartford…

I got chatting to some Sri Lankans who had come together for a high school reunion. After discussing the cricket, we got into a conversation about politics and the civil war. Being from the north, they had a particular perspective but I was really struck by the claim that the country had collectively seemed to make a decision to move on and not engage in meaningful truth and reconciliation. I am not remotely qualified to pass judgement on that but it was interesting to hear their views on the more recent history of the country post-civil war.

For our last morning in Ella, I booked us onto a local cookery class which turned into about four and a half hours of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. The whole host family got involved in different capacities and our teacher was far more tolerant than I think was merited. It was a great time and I will be pinching the recipes for one I finally get round to opening my bar and ‘Big Buck Hunter’ arcade sometime soon (which will doubtless prove a great business decision in the height of the coming global recession.)

Weligamma, gamma, gamma a rave after midnight

I slept for nearly the whole drive down from the mountains and into the beach side town of Weligamma. I am led to believe the scenery was beautiful. Awe inspiring. Etc. But I wouldn’t know. I was asleep.

Putting the cookery class to good use, I went and raided the local fish market purchasing some of the biggest prawns I’ve ever seen and buying, and then cooking, my first ever tiger fish. Absolutely delicious.

On the Saturday night, I dragged my travel companions to a local EDM/trance rave. It was class. It’s been some time since I’ve been to a rave of this size and the DJ was absolutely stellar. I’m rather a fan of said music and events but am oft put off by the volume of wankers who attend such events in the UK. To be honest, the crowd that made up this event wasn’t a great deal different but I suspect I was too inebriated to care.

Our homestay away from the beach front and Ella was positively overrun with monkeys and I was pleased to get some more practice in with my camera. What with all the photos I’ve been sending home of elephants, flying foxes, bats and monkeys, my niece is now convinced I now live amongst them. I haven’t yet figured out how to explain to a four-year-old that I now live in less of a zoo than I did when with Bobby and Samuel at Midlife Crisis Towers, Kennington.

Galle-fully hot

Leaving Grassy for her own pastures new, we travelled by train to the fort city of Galle which was a stiflingly hot few days.

The cricket ground was sumptuous, with old school grass verges making up the terraces. The bar was an old school set up very much reminding me of summers spent drinking beer and not paying cricket in Wilmington. They were getting set up for a school match between the two local boys’ schools but unfortunately flights to India meant that that was another match I’d be missing.

Walking the fort provided ample opportunity for more ice cream (which will be replacing alcohol when I am inevitably told by medical practitioners that I have to give it up) and a brief plunge into the ocean in nowt but my underpants to alleviate the worst of the heat.

Planes, trains, and automobiles up the coast

Riding the rails from Ella and onwards allowed me to make up for the beautiful views I’d missed whilst dozing in the car.

In Ambalangoda, we visited a historic mask making workshop and museum as I dripped sweat and suncream all over the floor. Charming.

Throughout Sri Lanka, we’ve seen some beautiful churches and amazing beaches. Pics below (I’m beginning to run out of steam here.)

And the final meal in Sri Lanka, for now, saw the scoffing of some of the best prawns I have ever tasted in my life. Truly stunning to the backdrop of a gorgeous instagrammable I’m sure sunset.

All else…

I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve been able to read so much new stuff from authors previously unknown to me. I must learn to be more adventurous in my reading choices from here on in. In the last two weeks I have finished reading:

• ‘Seven moons of Maali Almeida’ which was fantastic.
• Kumari Jayawardena’s selected essays ‘Labour, feminisim, & ethnicity in Sri Lanka’ which proved a really insightful take on modern Sri Lankan politics and has illuminated an array of people and movements new to me.
• And Anuk Arudpragasam’s ‘A passage north’ which was also spectacular and has entered my list of all time favourite reads.

In addition to the reading, we watched the channel 4 documentary ‘Sri Lanka’s Killing Fields’ first broadcast in 2011. Absolutely harrowing. I wished I’d seen it before the pub conversation mentioned above but then again, perhaps best not to raise such things so explicitly down the pub.

I have been in India the last four days and will write about that in due course… if we get the other side of tonight. Many of you will know that I had planned to hunker down in Goa to write and who knows? That may still come to fruition. All being well, I think, instead, I will return to Sri Lanka to try and get some things finished up before attempting to find my way back to colder climes…